We all have an internal compass. A set of guiding beliefs that shape how we behave. These underlying values help us make decisions. When they are clear they help set us on a fulfilling life path. However, without them, we can waver in the wind. And one day we might look back and regret the choices we made.
About a year ago I started to reflect on my core values. I started with a simple question. What do I value in life? My list started with my marriage, family, freedom, and financial stability. Once I got started it wasn’t hard to create a list of 20+ different values.
Then came the hard part. I challenged myself to widdle this down to 10 core values. I also forced myself to prioritize the list. I’m a big believer that you can’t have two #1 priorities. This step forces you to reflect deeply on why one value is more important than the other.
As I got into the process I kept thinking about examples where I wasn’t living my life inline with my values. My guess is that this is the same for 99% of the people out there.
Here are a few examples of what I mean. You might value financial security but spend frivolously. You value a healthy marriage but do nothing to nurture it. We should all value our health but we typically don’t make time for it. We value time with our family but often allow other priorities to rob us of these moments. This list can go on forever.
Here’s the good news. This simple exercise is the fastest way I know to start living a happier and more fulfilling life. I come back to this list often as a way of measuring myself. I want to make sure I am being true to my values. It is too easy to get off track and accountability needs to start with ourselves.
It’s also worth pointing out that I said happier, not happy. Happiness is a choice we make every day. How we choose to react to our situation is ours to make.
But there is no limit on happiness. Why not take some simple steps to soak every bit of it out of life? What I’ve found is that when I’m living my ten core values, I’m at my happiest. I also know that I am laying the groundwork for a more fulfilling life down the road.
To help get you started on this process I’ll share my list and what it means to me.
- Marriage
I want a strong, healthy relationship for years to come. I want to set an excellent example for my children. I want to have a lifelong partner to experience the rest of life. I want many more family experiences where everyone is happy. - Family
I want to be a part of my kid’s lives while they are still young. I don’t want to miss the most important years. I want to help shape who they become. I want our family unit to be close nit. I want each one of us to have a deep relationship with the other. - Freedom
I want the freedom to work where I want, when I want, and for who I want. I want the freedom to experience life. I want to be in charge of my life. - Financial Independence
I need to be able to provide for my family. I need to prepare for retirement. While I don’t ever see myself stopping, I do see my work changing. I won’t work as much or as aggressively when I am past 70. I don’t want money to be a source of stress. I won’t blindly chase more. I won’t chase worthless luxuries. I will prepare for my kid’s college, whether they go or not. - Health
I will eat well. I won’t constantly poison my body. I will limit how much I drink. I will exercise and keep my body healthy. I will get annual checkups, dentist visits, etc. to make sure I am here to enjoy my life. I will play golf and other sports. - Growth/Learning
When I stop learning I get bored. I will find new projects that I’m passionate about to keep my desire to learn and grow strong. I will read 30 books a year to expand my mind. I will spend more time on activities that help me grow vs. those that make me a vegetable. - Adventure
I love new experiences. I will be open to new ones. I will try to say yes more often than not. I will try to help my kids see the power of adventures. I will do things I’m afraid of. - Making a Difference
I will try to leave an impact on this world far beyond when I am here. I will try to have an impact on individuals, including my family. This includes the community, my children’s school, my co-workers, or people that find value in what I create. - Industry
I will work hard at everything I do. Nothing replaces hard work. I don’t expect a handout. I will earn everything I need in life. - Creativity
I will use my gifts of creativity. I will learn how to be more creative. I will let this power uncover new results at home, work and in my adventures.
Defining my values was a life-changing experience. It forced me to reflect on what truly matters. It helped me stop my bad habits that were out of alignment with the life I wanted to live. It also motivated me to start creating new, healthy habits.
I’d challenge you to give this a shot. Are you being true to what you value? Where are you off track? Most importantly, what will you change starting today?
