When George Washington was six years old, he got an ax as a gift. One day, he cut his dad’s cherry tree. After seeing the damage, his father got angry and asked his son if he did it. George looked at him and said, “I cannot tell a lie…I did it.” His dad gave him a big hug and told George that his honesty was worth more than a thousand trees.
My experience was a bit different at age 6. In our subdivision there was a large construction hole filled with water. Before long, countless frogs moved in. All I could think about was how much fun it would be to catch a few and make them pets.
One day, I walked upstairs to ask my parents if we could go frog hunting. Knowing that it could be dangerous, they said no. I walked down the stairs, Derrick asked what they said, and I told him, “yes.”
We snuck out and made our way to the hole. Things were going great. After our buckets were full, we started to head back. But then a giant frog caught my eye. As I approached the edge of the hole I went to grab him, lost my footing and fell in.
Derrick ran over to help me and tried to pull me out. Instead of getting me out, I pulled him in. Now we were in trouble. Neither of us could swim and the walls of the hole were straight up and down and made of slick mud.
At one point I stood on Derrick’s shoulders, and managed to climb out. I tried to pull him up and ended up right back in the hole. A few minutes later, one of our neighbors was walking by and heard us screaming. He pulled us out and saved our lives.
While a lie won’t always be life or death, always remember this story. The effect of a lie is not always obvious. Instead of wondering what those may be, start and end with honesty.
To give you a head start, I’ll share three common reasons why you might lie.
First, you are trying to impress someone.
This is something you will encounter more and more as you get older. If it hasn’t happened already, it will. Remember, your opinion is the one that counts. Stay true to yourself and don’t let someone’s opinion force you to give up your honesty. It isn’t worth it.
Second, you are afraid of the consequences.
In life you are going to make poor decisions. You will make mistakes. This is where lies start to form. It seems easier to tell a fib than own up to what you did. This is a mistake. Know that I will be like George Washington’s father. I will be more impressed that you told me the truth, than upset about what you did.
Finally, it is a half truth.
A half truth is a whole lie. Being honest is black and white. And like the lesson on integrity, if you allow yourself to tell a small lie, big ones won’t be far behind. Lying is a slippery slope. Over time, if you keep it up, you won’t be able to keep your lies straight. If you are always honest, this will never happen.
You won’t always get this right. I didn’t. When you stumble, be quick to apologize and move on. Lies eat away at you on the inside. They weigh you down. Lies break down the trust you have with others. Always protect this trust. If you break it, you may never get it back.
This post is part of a series of letters to my kids. My goal is to reflect on and capture as many life lessons as possible. Here is the current list I am working from
