Expectations surround us. As your parents, we expect a lot. You should as well.
Being responsible means you do what is expected and accept the results of your actions. For example, you are responsible for brushing your teeth and getting ready for school. You are also responsible for putting away your bike and toys outside.
When I was your age, I had the same responsibility. One night I came in and left my bike right behind our neighbor’s truck. There was no way he could see it. In the morning, he backed out to go to work and mangled my bike. As you might guess, I didn’t get a new one anytime soon. The ruined bike was a result of my actions, or inaction in this case. Because I was not responsible I had to accept the consequences.
As a growing child, being responsible is like walking up 100 steps. Every time you show you can handle more responsibility you take a step up. Each step leads to more trust and freedom. People know they can count on you to do what is right. But, act irresponsibly and that shatters the confidence people have in you. Now you take five steps back.
When I was 16, I bought my first car, a blue Datsun 280Z. I had a little money from my grandmother, but I had to cover the rest. The car needed some work so I saved up to buy new parts. Then I needed to find a body shop install everything and repaint the car. Before long the car was perfect, complete with a new paint job.
Then one day I was driving and got distracted. I crashed into someone at an intersection. Luckily no one got hurt. My actions caused the wreck and I had to deal with the consequences. My insurance went up and I had to come up with more money to get the car fixed. Worst of all, my parents questioned my ability to be responsible.
You will always find opportunities to take on more responsibility. These will be choices, not requirements. My advice is to step up, grab the opportunity and show you are responsible. Do it for yourself. Prove you can handle it.
When I was in 7th grade I had this opportunity. During the school year we spent most of the time at our Mom’s house. Derrick was in high school and playing sports. My sister was much younger and Mom was working.
At some point I made a decision to step up and help the family. I did more than my fair share. One example was dinner. I cooked most nights so it was ready when everyone got home. This was an important, early lesson in responsibility.
Your Mother and I look for everyday opportunities to give you the power to choose. We want you have to have as much responsibility as you can handle. Always take the opportunity and show you are capable of much more. The more you show, the more you get. This is as true for you as a 7 year old as it is as for a 37 year old. The world never changes in this respect.
Thomas Jefferson said, “Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself.” Throughout the day we do a lot for you. And we are happy to do it. But start asking yourself “can I do this myself?” If so, take responsibility and do it.
You are in control. Show you can do more than we expect. You will feel a sense of pride in yourself and it will give you the confidence to take on more. This fuels a fire inside you that will help you achieve any dream you have. And whatever happens, take responsibility.
“I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.” Helen Keller
This post is part of a series of letters to my kids. My goal is to reflect on and capture as many life lessons as possible. Here is the current list I am working from.
