Today, flying is commonplace. It no longer creates a sense of wonder or awe.
It wasn’t too long ago that commercial flights were new and amazing. In the 1930’s, passenger planes only carried about 20-30 people. Today, planes carry well over 300.
Fast forward to 1959, about 30 years later. We moved from propeller planes to the jet age. Planes were much larger and some were able to carry about 115 people, but most carried far less.
Think about this for a second. Around 1960, we were starting to use jet engines to take people across the country and the world. It was a huge achievement.
One year later, President John F Kennedy delivered a speech to Congress. In it, he told Americans and the world, that we should put a man on the moon and return them safely in less than 9 years.
At that time, we were in a space race with Russia and he set expectations to the highest level possible. He did not expect the US to be average in space, he wanted us to be the best.
It’s 2017 now and expectations like this are rare. Instead, we focus on being average.
It starts in school and it continues in business. We expect a few people to be exceptional, a few people to be very bad and most people to be average. We even have a name for this. It’s called a bell curve.
Here’s the surprising fact, something designed to determine performance is actually hurting it.
First, we tell everyone that it is hard to be exceptional. This is nonsense. Everyone has the capacity to be exceptional. Second, by placing someone in the “average” bucket, we make them believe they are average.
Words and expectations matter.
There is another word for average. It’s called normal. Society likes us to fit in, look like everyone else and do what everyone else is doing. Why? Because people can relate to what they know.
Here’s the thing, I believe conformity leads to being average. My wish is that you never accept this.
I’ve found that life is what you make it to be. Unless someone’s expectations raise me up, I ignore them.
For example, people told me I wouldn’t make a good VP of Marketing when I was 32. I ignored their expectations and focused on mine. I believed that if I worked hard enough, I could do the job and do it well.
On the flip side, people thought I would do well as a CEO. Even though I had my doubts, if they believed in me, if their expectations were high, then I would give it my best shot.
I’m also careful to ignore expectations that don’t align with my values or vision. I’m also careful to ignore people who want me to be less than I am. They may not do it on purpose, but low expectations might influence my actions and I have to avoid that at all costs.
The easiest way I’ve found to do this is to hold myself to a higher standard. Every time I think I can’t go further or achieve more, I find out I’m wrong. Even with great mentors and friends, I have to be the one to hold myself accountable and to a high bar. This is the only protection from becoming average.
The world is changing at an unbelievable rate. While this is exciting, there also needs to be a warning sticker.
So much of the advice I receive comes from other’s past experiences. Because of that, their expectations might be the result of old and incomplete data.
20 years ago going to college all but assured a successful life. Times have changed. A degree buys you very little today, other than a lot of debt. If the question is about learning, there are all sorts of ways to do this that didn’t exist years ago. Heck, you can get online and attend free classes at Stanford without setting foot on campus.
The point is that the world has changed and there is new information to consider.
How about buying a home? Does this make sense? Having owned one for 18 years I can tell you a lot of reasons why it might not. But most of us assume it’s the right thing to do because of the expectations of society.
How about having a career? My grandfathers both worked the same job for 40 years. That’s what you did back then.
I haven’t had the same job for longer than four years. My parents didn’t understand this at first. They thought I was making a mistake. Their expectations came from the information they had and their experiences. Mine were different and were right for me.
We are all amazing creatures with so much to add to the world. It makes me crazy that society sucks the awesomeness out of so many people.
Expectations are powerful. They shape what we believe is possible. Given the choice, I will always aim high. In the words of Norman Peale, “If I shoot for the moon and miss, I’ll at least be among the stars.”
This post is part of a series of letters to my kids. My goal is to reflect on and capture as many life lessons as possible. Here is the current list I am working from.
