It was 1999 and I was a Mechanical Engineering graduate from one of the top schools in the country. I didn’t get straight A’s, but my GPA wasn’t too bad. It was a great four years and I couldn’t wait to start the next leg of my life journey.
Six weeks later I walked into my first full time job. I wasn’t alone. There were over two hundred other graduates starting at the same time. We were getting settled in for a three month long boot camp.
The day was exciting, like the first day of anything might be. But, nothing stood out, except one experience. I will never forget it.
I sat down in a row of about 20 people and starting making small talk. I turned to my left and asked the guy next to me where he was from. After a few minutes, school came up and he mentioned graduating from one of the Ivy League schools. I asked about his major and he said that he actually had two majors and a minor.
I was in a little bit of shock. Four years at Vanderbilt was tough. I barely got out with one major and this guy had 2.5!
No big deal. Every group has at least one genius it seems.
Next I turned to my right. I started down the same line of questions and the conversation ended the same way. This guy didn’t just have a few bachelor’s degree, he also had a Master’s. I smiled and thought “Are you kidding me!”
At this point I shut up, sank a little lower in my chair and tried to figure out how I could keep from getting fired. Eventually someone was going to find out that I wasn’t as smart as everyone else in the room.
I didn’t know it on that day, but I learned an important lesson over the next few months and years. Not being the smartest person in the room is like winning the lottery. Everyday I was learning something new by tapping into what I can only describe as geniuses. I had never been around so many talented people at once.
Thanks to this group of people, I felt like I was on a learning rocketship. I was changing the way I thought and the way I looked at the world. I was learning and getting better at things I never thought I could do. I was having conversations that were far from anything I’ve ever experienced.
I grew more in that four year period than I have any other time. I have the people I worked with to thank.
Jim Rohn once said “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” I’ve found that I tend to do similar things, focus on similar areas and think in similar ways as the people I’m surrounded with.
This can either be good or it can be bad. It all comes down to influence. When I was young I didn’t hang out with kids that were getting in trouble and so I stayed out of trouble. Change out my friends and the outcome would be very different.
Today, I surround myself with smart business minds and creative thinkers. It helps me see the world through their eyes. They give me a new perspective and help me grow and get better.
This goes beyond success and failure. The friends I keep also affect my happiness. I have a set of friends that no matter what are positive, full of life and a joy to be around.
I know others that are the complete opposite. After spending thirty minutes around them, I start to feel down and I look at the world a little different. I try to avoid these people at all cost. Life is far too short.
Sometimes this won’t be a friend or colleague, it may be a coach. In sports or in life, coaches have a huge influence. My coaches all shared their knowledge and attitudes. They gave me another important gift, expectations.
Time after time, these coaches pushed me beyond the limits I set for myself. This was huge, since I always seemed to sell myself short. My coaches knew I was capable of more and they let me know it with their expectations.
While living up to expectations can be hard, it’s also rewarding. Every time I would break through a personal barrier and hit a target, it gave me confidence to do it again. Each drop of confidence gathered in a well and I would pull from it to face future challenges.
I’ve also come to learn that the time I have with these great individuals is never guaranteed. They might move to a new job, a new city or I may do the same. Whatever the cause, the effect is the same. A relationship that once expanded my thinking can change in an instant.
I’m grateful for all the relationships I have today and the ones that came before them. Without their influence I would be a fraction of the person I am now.
Even though I’m forty, this isn’t the end of my journey. I am just getting started. I know I am going to meet some amazing people in the coming years and I can’t wait.
This post is part of a series of letters to my kids. My goal is to reflect on and capture as many life lessons as possible. Here is the current list I am working from.
